From, A Recovering Workaholic | Part Two
My awakening (or breaking point) after years of hustle.
With my body slumped over a hospital chair, pain radiating through my lower back–my body was crying out for help.
Kidney Infection.
I sat in that waiting room for a couple of hours before the doctor was able to see me and administer the drugs necessary for dulling the pain and helping my body mend. At 27, I was four to five years into building my business and in the most physically and emotionally depleted state of my life.
Constant back pain, insomnia from the stress and toll my business was taking on my body and on top of it, I was self-medicating…with alcohol. Hiding, numbing and ignoring my body’s cries for attention.
My go to? A Negroni. Or five.
When the back pain was too fierce to handle, I’d get up and make a Negroni. Forget about taking breaks to stretch or go for a walk—a Negroni would do the job!
The drinking habit started when I was 18 and working at a bar in Downtown Chicago through my college years—whiskey in my red plastic cup while at work, then another pour when I’d come home after my shift at 3am.
I’m sure by now you can fill in the blanks. The concoction of stress, over-working and numbing with alcohol had me feeling like I was years older than I actually was with all of the pain, stiffness and lack of sleep.
The Postpartum Blues
At 29, I got pregnant—and the only habit I managed to kick was the alcohol one. I was also onto my second book deal, Everyday Watercolor Flowers, and embarking on a world tour for my first book.
Two weeks after having my son in February of 2019, I was two weeks postpartum after a pretty traumatic birth experience (I’ll spare you the details), lying on the couch and designing my first planner collection for Staples, just fresh off of my first ever online course launch.
What made me believe I had to do it all? Was it the fear of losing momentum, needing to prove myself, or something else?
Honestly, it was survival.
I had no backup plan, no plan b, no wealthy family member to lean on and ask for money.
We were paycheck to paycheck for years as I was trying to build my business. When the revenue would climb, it would get poured right back into growing the business. And on top of that, while I was getting book deals and revenue was increasing every year, living in southern California aint cheap.
After that huge job for Staples just weeks after giving birth, it finally hit me. Hard.
Years of pent up stress and exhaustion lead to my mental and physical health being on the fritz and I was beyond burnt out.
Desperate for a change, I hired my first Operations Manager to get my business in order and to take some of the load off of my plate.
Hiring the RIGHT People
Nearly six years ago now, Kelly walked into my life.
One day, I’ll share a full deep dive into my hiring journey—and how bringing the right people on board has transformed my business. With the right support, I’ve been able to streamline everything so I can focus solely on what I do best: staying in my zone of genius and doing the work I truly love.
For the last three to four years I’ve gone from working over 12 hours a day on average (for years) to less than five per day. Game changer. I no longer feel chained to my desk, working around the clock. Answering emails, chasing follow-ups, managing orders—all the tasks that used to drain my time and creativity—are now in the hands of my team. Not only are they fully capable of handling them, they actually do them far better than I ever could.
But hiring a great person for your business isn’t the automatic quick fix to getting yourself out of hustle mode.
It took a couple of years after hiring Kelly to start rearranging my beliefs around success and my own self worth. For my entire journey thus far as a business owner, my “success” was directly tied to and correlated with how much time and effort I put in to working. Aka the output.
Resting or taking time off always felt like a faroff luxury that was only for the extremely successful and wealthy. Any “vacation” we went on was through my work and you better believe I always had my laptop open at the pool. I never fully learned how to turn it off.
Now that I have more time and space in my life, I’m beginning to understand the power of the pause—and the value of building a business that honors slowness, not just speed. One that supports rest, reflection, and a more sustainable rhythm.
If you’re running on empty, let this be a sign: your worth is not tied to your output. Where can you ask for help? What would it look like to listen to your body today?